Target bikes

Eleven years ago I bought a car seat at Target for my soon-to-emerge daughter. I'm pretty sure that was the last time I was at Target. I was just at Target a couple days ago because that daughter emerged and after 10 years of living decided that Target is where she wanted to go on her birthday to purchase Barbie products.  I'm pretty sure I'll be ok with not going back for another eleven years. And I'm pretty sure I don't want to get into the details around my general take on Target and Barbie here.

Anyway. Check out the bikes that have popped up at Target. I must be an optimist, because this all gives me hope.

 First off, we have the Target fixed gear, called... wait for it... "Fix-d"

There's a lot to dislike about this bike, but there's stuff to like too. White bikes are cool. Always. It's been empirically proven. That's not an opinion; it's a fact. So there's that. Unfortunately, lime green is always an awful choice in every single case. That's also a fact.

Chubby tires are a good thing. It's hard to dis those. And there's still room for fenders there.

That front brake is as awful as it looks. No need to click for big: it's a stamped single pivot side pull steel piece of shit. The back brake looks the same.

This bike ships with a flip-flop hub and it's out the door in fixed mode. Looks like about a 46x20-- it's a pretty big cog back there.. Not too bad a gear.  And look: a chain guard. But -- it doesn't have toe straps. I'm wondering how this got by the lawyers. They're shipping a fixed gear to Joe Public's kid with  platform pedals. That could get ugly on Christmas morning when Little Joe, living at the top of a big hill, hops on his new bike and attempts to coast down.

But it's white, so that goes a long way and probably will keep the lawsuits reasonable.

This is a "Schwinn." I dig it. And you know what, I think old Ignaz would dig it too, cause this single speed, coaster-braked, 559 fatty with steel everything will out live us all. And that's what Ignaz was all about. Aside from the f'ugly unicrown fork, this bike works nicely. For $130 out the door, I'd be down for that... if I needed a campus bike. And the silly paint scheme is cool in a dorky way that I find appealing.

Note the cardboard placard in the spokes: "26 inch good for height 5' 2" and above." guess what the 700c bikes say? "28 inch good for height 5' 2" and above."

And the 29'er mountain bikes? "29 inch good for height 5' 2" and above."

It's the Target fit kit.

But this bike takes the prize. It nearly works perfectly. The paint job -- who can argue with that? No one, that's who. It's just too damn awesome. What I wouldn't do to get my mitts on those fenders. I wouldn't kill anyone, but I might rough someone up a bit...

Anyway: one piece crank, chain guard, double kickstand, bitchin (and I mean that) basket with ribbon, v-brakes against powdered red rims.

But.

There are three things that sink this bike. Well four, cause it's too expensive): 1) the powder rims should be machined on the side walls so it would actually stop; 2) it's got a cheesy 3-speed internal hub - just go single and drop the price by $100 (it's $400) -- plus you could make it coaster brake and take another $40 or so off; 3) that damn lime green again. It just doesn't work.

Otherwise, what's not to like. Even those forks. God that paint/decal job is so rad. And the swoopy curvey step-through frame is just such a lovely shape to me.